The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
