Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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