I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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