and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
