It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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