I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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