walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You dont lie about slip and slides
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize