FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
