I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Randomize
