Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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