I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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