Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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