is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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