yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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