Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize