Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
zippers are such a cool invention
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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