high people should be assigned attendants
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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