Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
