Pregnant stripper...not hot.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I smell like Dick and happiness
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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