So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize