He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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