i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
