Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
