You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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