He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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