all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
4 words: hood of his car
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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