she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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