vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
