that's an acceptable place to lick
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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