she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
