You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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