he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
