Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
When did angry sex become our thing?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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