he told me I talked like a deaf person
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
