yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
