This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
