There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
