I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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