Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
