I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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