I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
