Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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