That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
