So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize