I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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