shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
