i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
