Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I am midnight drunk by noon
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Bring me that man meat
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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