Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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