last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize