I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
