Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
