did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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