thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
