I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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