I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i out mim tonsoeep
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