I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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