I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
