hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
